The Art of Letting Go

It is often when I am trying to micromanage every area of my life that I recognise the correlation between that & feeling at my most overwhelmed. I know it’s coming from a place of wanting to harness some degree of control during periods of transition, uncertainty or simply not feeling my best. I have had plenty of those moments- being a single mum, moving country, taking a huge risk starting my own business, all while being the only one responsible for the outcome, has felt all too much on some days. Lots of days. But on those days I have to remind myself that regardless of how much I try to plan or micromanage, I simply cannot control every outcome and that fact in itself is actually quite liberating. And beyond that, at the risk of sounding very woo-woo, I lean into an inner knowing that I just need to let go and have faith that something greater than me is unfolding. Something beyond my control that could be far more profound than I could ever have planned all by myself. 

The Power of Surrender

Letting go and surrendering to the unknown can be so scary, and it takes a huge amount of courage. But surrender is not about letting go of our options or giving up on our dreams, it’s giving over our control, our agenda, our timeline. When we surrender we can let things unfold naturally & more organically. It is about surrendering to the knowledge that on some level you are being guided. A beautiful plan is unfolding in front of you. You are participating in the creation of this, of course, but you don’t have to know every next step, you don’t have to have it all figured out.

Author Debbie Ford says, “Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself. It’s an act of faith. It’s saying that even though I can’t see where this river is flowing, I trust it will take me in the right direction.”

I love this quote, because surrender is about having faith. It involves accepting and allowing what is without trying to change, control or fix it. Whenever we try to push away, fight or change what’s present in our minds, we create tension and resistance within and around us. 

Imagine your thoughts are like waves in the ocean. If you try to swim against the current, you will use up so much energy, you are fighting against a much more powerful force, at the risk of being swept up by the current. But if you allow yourself to surrender and accept the direction of the waves, they will carry you back to the safety of the shore.  

What am I holding myself back from? 

When you ask yourself this question you are approaching the world with an open heart & mind. It invites you to reflect on what is no longer serving you and explore new opportunities for growth and transformation. Surrendering to this can be really challenging, especially when we value or rely on control, independence, and self-reliance. But by practising mindfulness, meditation, or other reflective practices in our daily life, we can gradually cultivate the strength & confidence to release control, even just a little bit. 

With surrender there is a softening, gently letting go of attachments to specific outcomes. 

Remember to Surrender: 

• Don’t be too rigid with your plans. There are often multiple ways to achieve your goals, dreams, and aspirations.  It’s SO important to enjoy the journey and celebrate your progress and successes along the way.
• Life is not black and white. It’s not just about good or bad, positive, or negative. There is a lot of middle ground where growth and development take place.
• Acknowledge that you are ALWAYS learning, growing, and moving forward. You can’t unlearn what you’ve learned. Life has its ups and downs, and healing is not certainly not linear. But remember, nothing is moving backwards.
• Take the time to get to know yourself. It’s easy to lose touch with ourselves in the busyness of day to day life, but it’s important to nurture that connection to yourself. Become deeply curious about your wants, your needs, your desires. Find out what you love, what calms you down, what makes you feel lighter, what makes you feel alive. This is all vital information that should not be overlooked. These are your personal ingredients to living a more fulfilled, contented life. 

How to Let Go and Transform your Life

Give yourself permission to stop trying to figure it all out on your own. Use what’s in front of you. Follow what inspires you. Trust that letting the path unfold naturally is often one of the greatest ways to surrender. 

Often we get so stuck on the “how” we are going to do something that it stops us from even trying. But try to shift your focus to what you want your life to look and feel like, and ultimately your “why”? What is your WHY behind doing it, wishing for it, aspiring to it? Not the how. Spend your time getting curious about that. Come back to this intention regularly to keep it at the forefront of your mind. This will not only keep you motivated, it will help you to navigate any challenges and decisions that you make along the way. Knowing your why will help to guide you to make choices and changes that are in alignment to what is meant for you. 

Don’t hold onto anything too tightly. Allow yourself to let go and be open to different outcomes. Complete surrender isn’t about giving anything up. You don’t have to quit your job or anything extreme. It isn’t about doing, it is simply about allowing. Having faith. Allowing the truth, beauty, goodness & grace that has always been in you, to flow effortlessly through you and radiate out into the world.